Wish My List

I was in Watson's grabbing a couple of toiletries when I realised that they had "Jingle Bell Rock" playing. And boy was I feeling that yuletide cheer.

And since I never got what I actually wanted for Christmas, I thought I might drop in a line for the Man-In-Red. This was how its gonna go down.


Dear Fat Fart In Red Santa,

Its a month to Christmas and I think you and your donkeys elves should be gearing up already. You must be kinda surprised to hear from me, since I never wrote to you before. So this year, I'm going to cut you some slack hand in my wish early to avoid you having drag your big ass around time at the very last minute and screw up unable to grant my wish.

As you've already noticed, I've been a really good boy this year. I've done my chores, cleaned my room, did my homework, met my deadlines, drove courteously and so forth and bla bla bla. I was gonna suck up to you more, but I thought I'll spare your balls as I'm sure all those whiny kids in the world would have made you very sore. So lets get right down to business.

Here's my humble wish-list for the year 2005, in no particular order.

1. Dubs for my fofo. 19-inch to be precise. Either one.

2. Clarion VRX756VD Touch Screen LCD DVD Deck.

3. Nokia N90

4. Acqua Di Gio for Men by Giorgio Armani

5. Adidas Superstar 35th Anniversary No.29 Etched White (Size- US 8 1/2)

6. Graham Swordfish Steel Right

7. Toshiba Stasia 32" LCD TV

I know by now you must be thinking 'This kid has either got some nerves to be extremely materialistic or just utterly mad to ask for such expensive stuffs.'

Well, for your information, old fart Santa, if all these stuffs is within my own purchasing power, I wouldn't have to leech wish it off you now, would I?

Okay, I know I said I'll spare you the suck up, but since everyone's doing it and they got their stuff year in year out, I'm gonna give it a shot.

So this is the part where I'm gonna say that you got a hell of a cool shade of dye for your beard and hair. And I can't seem to get those hypocrites saying you being a fat ass.

So, I guess this is it for the time being. But if there's more, I'd fill you in in due time. Don't you worry about that.

I thank you in advance for ALL the stuff that you're going to get me.


Yours truly,
Spence.

p/s: If you happen to decide to grant me my dubs, do let me know in advance. I need to get 2 pairs of stocking big enough for it. And for the LCD TV, do be careful. Its pretty fragile, so I heard. And since this is gonna be your first visit, I have to ask. How big is your ass do you measure? I need the specification to construct the chimney. I don't want you putting a scratch on any of my stuff you fat clumsy fuck.