The Missing Link

Looking back,
I think I've lost my track.
Things I have done,
Mistakes which cannot be undone,
Having almost everything but almost none.
Reminiscence is very much useless,
All I need is love and carresses.
Someone to go home to,
But my world is now in two.
Only to find myself infatuated with women with issues,
Why is love so hard to pursue.
I am not asking for much,
But just want to walk again without crutches,
Pointless crushes.
Looking into her eyes knowing you can never have,
Getting swept by a wave.
Not pulling you further into the core,
But sending you back to shore.
When reality hits,
Tearing that painted picture to bits.
You look back asking what am I looking for,
Just someone to hold onto nothing more.
Before the tide moves out dragging me out again,
Leaving me once again in pain.
What I will give to turn back time.
To be more selfish and have you to stay,
History would have not gone astray.
But history let be,
Even when you're in front of me.
Distance have a way of destroying things,
Sending you packing,
Leaving me waiting,
Cold is now the feeling,
I need to bridge what's missing.
The missing link.

The Questions

What if I had not met you?

What if I had not said what I said?

What if you had not leave?

What if I had made you stay?

What if I had left this town to be with you?

What if I had not left the small town just to see you more often?

What if you had never done what you did?

What if I had not left SmallFirm?

What if I had not joined BigFirm?

What if I had put more heart into my papers?

What if I had procrastinated less and do what I ought to do?

What if I had not had that last drink?

What if I had just booked myself the next flight just to get out of this town for the weekend?

What if I had just said whatever I wanted to say?

Would it have been any different?