Shaken & Stirred

The Newer Year

2007-12-31T15:27:00.000+08:00

Eight and a half hours to 2008.

2007 has been an intense mixture of events and emotions. From patching up with the Lady, to resignation from BigFirm, to her homecoming, and to a brother's engagement. But it sure had passed a little too fast for me to digest.

Come 2008, I can just pray and hope that things would only get better from here on.

So, on this hopeful note, goodbye 2007 and cheers to 2008.

The Number For Every Single Hour

2007-06-14T00:13:00.000+08:00

June 14th isn't just another day
But for her it's one she can have her way
For the number is the hour
Come now come twenty four
This is not just a number
Not just one you write on paper

I remember back in two thousand
I felt like I was on an island
As if I was running a mile
When I was trying to make her smile

Eight years now down the road
She is still far abroad
Not that it really makes a difference
I still live by that reminiscense

So here I am, Darling
The one and only I am missing
I wish this could be more special
Rather than getting just a mail
For one day I want to celebrate with you this occasion
Not just once but every single season
There's more than two words I want to say
The first being Happy 24th Birthday
The rest is how truly madly deeply
You made my life such a memory
I just want to put that smile back on you
And tell you that, I love you.

The One Between Reality And Fantasy

2007-06-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean
Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past
There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness

Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And polverize and derrange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to song along
Until the very ending

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free
In a dark and storming sea
You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul
But at the end of the day when every price has been paid
You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold
And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From chains and shackles that they're in
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

Patrick Park - Life Is A Song

The Distance

2007-06-01T20:41:00.000+08:00

If there's one credo that I no longer believe, it would be the possibility of a long distance relationship. Once a firm believer of the creed, I now join the relationship cynics. Welcome me into the bandwagon.

You might ask why the U-turn. My answer is simple. I've tasted, felt and smelt the agony of such a relationship. And the outcome did not co-exist with my belief.

So when you told me that you're planning to come back, I was nothing but thrilled. Thrilled that a dream I never thought I would ever live to see, is realizing. No doubt there's a lot of ambiguities and uncertainties, but that would only be the substance that is going to add some flavor into the word "life".

So, this is the selfish me saying, please, come back soon.

The One In 6 Months

2007-05-21T19:26:00.000+08:00

Almost.

Continued slaving for BigFirm.

CNY came. One hell of a weird one.

The Lady came back.

The Crush was told the truth.

The Crush flipped me over the chair with the truth on BigFirm's intranet.

The Crush had no guts to admit shit face to face.

Farewell dinner with The Crush. Lesson learned: Don't bother with a confused woman who has no fucking idea what she wants.

Patched things up with The Lady. When she's no longer around. Lesson learned: The irony life throws at you.

Tendered resignation at BigFirm. Lesson learned: Managers are fuckers.

Boycotted in BigFirm. Lesson learned: Senior Managers can go fuck themselves.

Messed up on the last day in BigFirm. Lesson learned: Goodbye fuckers.

Back to square one, hoping to make a difference. Lesson learned: I would never be a fucker. But I don't want to be a fuckee either.

The Lady is coming home. For good.

The Cross-Over to Another Year

2007-01-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

And so 2006 left and 2007 dropped in.

I would say that this could be the best countdown I had thus far.

Great company, good ambience. A lot of laughters. Great music.

And so... goodbye 2006.

The Flashback

2006-12-27T22:00:00.000+08:00

Days passed.
Months went by,
Now it's time to say goodbye.

In 2006, I...

1. Had the best burger in Chili's.
2. Spent Chinese New Year with one single person.
3. Had a simple warm Valentine's after 2 years.
4. Went broke from a major paint job on my ride.
5. Patched a broken relationship up.
6. Messed up my finals.
7. Sold my life to BigFirm.
8. Broke a heart with harsh words.
9. Started binging.
10. Had a crush.
11. Overspent on my new cell.
12. Was left date-less on my birthday bash.
13. Got pissed drunk on my birthday bash.
14. Was given a cold shoulder.
15. Gave it another shot.
16. Pretty much messed up another finals.
17. Was given another cold shoulder.
18. Pushed her aside out of vengeance.
19. Lost the plot on Christmas.
20. Messed up.

The Road Unconstructed

2006-12-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

First I like you,
Then I love you,
Now I'm afraid to lose you.

But I've lost you anyway,
Never given the opportunity to love you,
Now I guess I liked you.

The Stagnancy

2006-12-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

My life is like golf. It hits you hard at the first instance, then nothing happens for a while. But just when you're almost there, you're just tapped lightly. Either that, or you just land yourself in deep shit.

The One Less Accomplished

2006-12-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

Take my photos off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you have won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What I should do, well you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you have won

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all there's left has gone away
And there's nothing left for you to do
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like fun
Until you lose what you have won...

The One Dream Too Many

2006-11-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

2 days ago, out of curiosity, I checked out a site highly advertised by Google and Yahoo. A US green card lottery site to be exact. Then my ass got a little itchier and entered my details to assess if I'm eligible to apply.

Fast forward to today. My phone rings registering an unknown caller ID. Turns out to be a lady from the firm running the green card lottery telling me of my chances in winning. 1 out of 70 so she says. All that for 119 bucks.

A chance to live, play, work, and dream in the states for 119 bucks.

17 mins and 47 seconds later, I turned her down.

There goes the chance of living, playing and working in the states. The dream part still applies, nevertheless.

Sometimes I just feel like smacking myself in the head.

The Twenty Third

2006-10-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...
It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...

The One Before 23

2006-10-23T02:06:00.000+08:00

22nd October,
I was still sober
A Sunday,
Just like any day
But not quite entirely,
I'm turning twenty-three
Dinner with the crew,
Ended with a couple of brews
And one drive...

The Song Called "My Love"

2006-10-15T12:51:00.000+08:00

If I wrote you a symphony
Just to say how much you mean to me

what would you do

If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular

tell me would you

Well baby I've been around the world
But I aint seen myself another girl

like you

This ring here represents my heart
But there is just one thing I need from you

saying I do

Because, I can see us holding hands
walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us in the country side
sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Gonna make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot

My love
My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot

My love
My love
Love
My love
My love

Now If I wrote you a love note
And make you smile with every word I wrote

what would you do

Would that make you wanna change your scene
And wanna be the one in my team

tell me would you

See what's the point in waiting anymore
Cause girl I've never been more sure

that baby it's you

This ring here represents my heart
And everything that you been waiting for

Just saying I do

Because, I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us in the country side
Sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Gonna make you my lady
Girl you amaze me       
Aint gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot my

My love
My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot my 

My love
My love
Love
My love
My love

Shorty, cool as a fan
On the new once again
but Still has fans from Peru to Japan
Listen baby, I don't wanna ruin your plan
But if you got a man, try to lose him if you can
Cause your girls real wild throw your hands up high
Wanna come kick it wit a stand up guy
You don't really wanna let the chance go by
Because you ain't been seen wit a man so fly
Friend so fly I can go fly
Private, cause I handle mine
Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire
I hate to have to cancel my vacation so you can't deny
I'm patient, but I ain't gonna try
You don't come, I ain't gonna die
Hold up, what you mean, you can't go why
Me and you boyfriend we ain't no tie
You say you wanna kick it with an ace so high
Baby, you decide that I ain't your guy
Ain't gon lie ,Me in your space
But forget your face, I swear I will
Same mark, same bullet anywhere I chill
Just bring wit me a pair, I will

I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us in the country side
Sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Gonna make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Aint gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

Love
My love
Love
My love
Love

And I know no woman that could take your spot

My love
Love
My love
Love
My love
Love

And I know no woman that could take your spot

My love
Love
My love
My love

The Missing Link

2006-09-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

Looking back,
I think I've lost my track.
Things I have done,
Mistakes which cannot be undone,
Having almost everything but almost none.
Reminiscence is very much useless,
All I need is love and carresses.
Someone to go home to,
But my world is now in two.
Only to find myself infatuated with women with issues,
Why is love so hard to pursue.
I am not asking for much,
But just want to walk again without crutches,
Pointless crushes.
Looking into her eyes knowing you can never have,
Getting swept by a wave.
Not pulling you further into the core,
But sending you back to shore.
When reality hits,
Tearing that painted picture to bits.
You look back asking what am I looking for,
Just someone to hold onto nothing more.
Before the tide moves out dragging me out again,
Leaving me once again in pain.
What I will give to turn back time.
To be more selfish and have you to stay,
History would have not gone astray.
But history let be,
Even when you're in front of me.
Distance have a way of destroying things,
Sending you packing,
Leaving me waiting,
Cold is now the feeling,
I need to bridge what's missing.
The missing link.

The Questions

2006-09-05T19:42:00.000+08:00

What if I had not met you?

What if I had not said what I said?

What if you had not leave?

What if I had made you stay?

What if I had left this town to be with you?

What if I had not left the small town just to see you more often?

What if you had never done what you did?

What if I had not left SmallFirm?

What if I had not joined BigFirm?

What if I had put more heart into my papers?

What if I had procrastinated less and do what I ought to do?

What if I had not had that last drink?

What if I had just booked myself the next flight just to get out of this town for the weekend?

What if I had just said whatever I wanted to say?

Would it have been any different?

The Wish

2006-08-30T22:57:00.000+08:00

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...

As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all the way up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time

If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish

Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho'
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me
So girl don't tell me what I'm feeling is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'd probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'm sick
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all the way up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish

I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know

If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time

The Unforwarded

2006-08-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

Warning: Emo posts ahead.

It's a Sunday afternoon, and I'm in the office.

How sad can this be? Since I started in BigFirm, I've felt as if part of my life has been taken away from me. It's not that I hate my job, but having nothing to look forward to is killing me, softly.

I need me some colours in my life. Like seriously.

And fast.

The Crash

2006-08-26T09:45:00.000+08:00

Just less than 2 weeks ago, I was having a constant high. Everyday.

Ever since then, reality hit hard.

A bad case of flu and a tight-deadline just don't go together.

Working with a mood-swinging mad woman is seriously draining me. I blame it on bad karma.

I need someone to cheer me up.

Yes, you heard it from me. Beer just won't do the trick right now.

The Early Start.

2006-08-14T20:32:00.000+08:00

It's 8.25pm, and I'm high.

I've never started drinkin at 4.45pm, this being the first.

And never in my life have I gotten high before the sun sets.

This IS happiness, bottoms up.

The Square One

2006-08-12T02:11:00.000+08:00

Day 1: Terminal 1

Day 2: 99

Day 3: Barzing

Day 4: 99 for happy hour. Back to square Terminal 1.

2 in the morning. I've got training later in the morning.

I AM SO GAWN!!!

The Third Day

2006-08-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

3 straight days.

3 straight happy hours.

Down to 2 men, 1 lady, 1 convert. All on empty stomachs.

Uncountable jugs and buckets.

1 card game, replayed over and over again.

Took it to the next level and played it within the training sessions. Other participants thought Kuchingites must be just sick in the head.

Findings: Non-stop laughters. All day long.

Conclusion: BEER. GOOD.

The High

2006-08-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

5 guys, 1 girl.

Empty stomachs.

Long day.

Happy hour.

9 jugs of beer.

~~2 card games.~~ 3 card games.

HAPPINESS.

I need not say more.

The Annihilation

2006-07-31T21:23:00.000+08:00

GAWN!!!

(This post is not in any way a mockery to those who drive one of these. I just happen to have this huge thing against Malaysian-made tin cans that rip you off.)

AND.

This is what I'll do to the fucker who messed up my ride. I won't just leave you with scratches. I will torch you and your two-wheeled trashcan.

The Solitude

2006-07-23T21:02:00.000+08:00

Coming home to dark empty house every single day after a hell of a long day at work isn't really what I hope for. Sundays not included.

No doubt that I do need some time alone just to chill. But this is getting out of hands.

I need me someone to talk to. I need me some lovin'.

For the time being, I need me some beers and cigarettes.

The First Month

2006-07-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

It felt so long, yet so short. I mean time, nothing else.

It's exactly a month since I got into BigFirm. And quite a lot has happened since then.

Nothing bad. Well, probably not yet.

And the best feeling on such an occasional day, completing an engagement. After all the rush on the last minute tidying up, the cross-referencings, the printings. All that with fever, cough and an ever-running nose. Being able to sit down and breathe after all that, is a bliss.

And to finish off the evening, 2 cold beers with a buffet dinner in Hilton. Priceless.

The New Bureaucrat

2006-06-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

Into the 2nd week in BigFirm, I'm still surviving. Never went home on time since the first day, and going back to the office on weekends. And I've yet to be assigned to anything really major.

However.

However, the back-log has already started.

Trying hard to piece all the loose puzzles of firm policy, only to find out that templates and forms have been updated or amended.

That aside, I think I'm still in my managers' good books. Well, at least that's what I hear.

Well, so far.

I better not screw up.

The Temporary

2006-06-15T21:59:00.000+08:00

It is done. Finally.

No more driving to that stench-filled dilapidated building. No more squeakeroos. No more starving till 10. No more life-less weekends. No more screamers. No more run-fire bitch.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

But only for 2 months. 2 freedom-filled months. Before reality bites again.

Just for 2 months. Only 2 months.

The Necessity

2006-06-13T19:37:00.000+08:00

After 2 straight fucked up days, I need me some beer.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
Even if I end up like this...

The Prequel

2006-05-24T16:28:00.000+08:00

Finally. Having a pc without a monitor suck balls. I feel so damn connected!!

I have yet to even set foot in BigFirm and there are already rumours about me.

DAMN!! These women sure know how to run their mouths. Can't they do something more conducive with their mouth like ~~giving blowjobs~~ eating chocolates or something?

The Coming-Soon

2006-05-10T20:28:00.000+08:00

I've signed it.

I've delivered it.

Watch out. I shall spread madness.

Dropping in, 16th June.

The Deal

2006-05-07T20:38:00.000+08:00

I have been offered a job by BigFirm.

By that, it means extremely-ridiculously-long hours, unclaimable OTs, screwed-up managers and possible fucked-up colleagues.

Now I am just one signature away.

One signature away from selling my soul.

The Perfect Situation

2006-05-04T22:06:00.000+08:00

You know you are screwed when you wake up at half past 8 to Weezer's Perfect Situation, brushed your teeth, shit & what-not, hit the shower, still with Weezer blasting through your vintage speakers, and when you get out of the shower, you noticed a text on your mobile and it reads,

"U in class yet? Can u get *insert colleague's name* to call me? Thanks."

And you ask yourself, "Huh? What class? Class ain't due till 6 this evening."

H-O-L-Y-S-H-I-T.

You called him back, asking if his colleagues are actually taking leave for classes. He thought so.

Then you proceed to call the college, but no one picks the motha-fuckin call.

You called the college's staff on his cell... "The number you called is not in service."

Then you call your classmate, the only one you have the number to, and she just has to convey the bad news to you.

CLASS STARTS AT 9.

It was already 9.15am.

Why the fuckin' hell did I not call her at the first place? I don't fuckin' know.

But what I do know is that I'm screwed.

Great.

Perfect situation, no doubt about that.

Just perfect.

The Flush

2006-03-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

A lizard missed his bungee jump and landed on my head instead.

No, that did not piss me off.

He jumped onto the floor, crawled his ugly ass to my shoe collection and starred at me.

Now that, pissed me off.

The fucker was an arrogant piece of shit. Just continued to stare while I picked his ugly ass up with a tissue.

He squeaked. Guess that was him realising he fucking made a mistake. And probably saying his prayers.

I flushed him into the toilet. I hope he brought his scuba gear with him.

Let have a minute of silence in remembrance of the dumb ass who just reached his final destination. The septic tank.

The Talk

2006-03-10T20:28:00.000+08:00

I despise people who run their mouth whenever they please without judging themselves first. I despise people who think that they're always right no matter what they do, and there's always wrong in others.

Hold on.

I'm not saying that I'm all righteous and I've never wronged anyone.

What I cannot stand is you running the blame on me when you're making the same mistakes I did minutes later. You think you can have a game only at your pace? And you control the intensity and its competitiveness whenever you like? You think you can play it casual just 'cos you feel like it? Fucking think again.

What I also cannot stand is you breathing down my neck, and only my neck, but not others when their man made an uncontested shot or an open lay. I don't hear you fucking them up. Why don't you go do that?

On top of that, I seriously cannot take it when you tell me what to do and add to that, that you'd be covering my defense line if he crosses over. And even if I did step up closer to my man, and if he crosses over and makes the lay, I'd still get the fucked up shit from you. Yes, you tell me you would. But I say thats fucking bullshit. How would I know, you asked? 'Cos it has fucking happened before to the extend of looking like re-runs of The Bold & The Beautiful. Not like I've watched even any of the episodes. But that's not the point.

I'm not trying to make a statement on how fucked up a person you are. Cos for some reason, you're not. Off the court, you make a great friend and nice to hang around with. It's just your attitude on the court.

I don't mind you trash-talking. I can stand you trying to make every single shot yourself and I respect the enthusiasm. What I cannot stand, has already been mentioned above.

And, this IS just a game. Very much a casual one. I make some shots in your face, you post on mine. We all have our game. There's no need to put hard fouls on your man. You don't achieve anything out of it. This ain't no playoff finals. Even teams in the League endure losing streaks, what makes this one so different? I totally respect your passion for a win, but sometimes, things don't run that way.

We win some. We lose some.

And, walk your bloody talk.

The Ride & The Ridden

2006-03-07T20:13:00.000+08:00

The past 38 days have been a winded roller-coaster ride.

The rush during the festivities, the dreaded classes, the movies, the dinners, the suppers, the night-outs, the scratch, the goodbye, the result, and now the rush for deadlines.

Not forgetting a broken ankle.

I think I need a time-out.

... and the ride is barely half way through...

The Other Newer Year

2006-01-28T20:33:00.000+08:00

Two New Years in a month. But this one requires more work and effort.

After working my ass off for 4 days, trying to deal with all the deadlines, I got my Friday off. And I thought I could rest a little.

But nooooooo......

I had to clean the house up. The WHOLE house up. By myself.

From a corporate gigolo to a domestic one.

How appropriate.

But for now, I'ma go burn some cash and watch them explode into glittery colourful stars.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, PEOPLE!!!

Gong Xi Fatt Chai!!!

The Crave

2006-01-24T19:32:00.000+08:00

Picture this.

Two soft yet firm buns. A thick juicy succulent meat clamped in between giving little space to slide about. A sensual lick melts on the meat and creams it up. The pleasure just by sight is already breathtaking, more to say when you actually have it all.

I, of course, was talking about my cravings for burgers.

Ever since my trip to KL, expectations from a burger have never been the same.

No, its not Burger King's Double Whooper with Cheese.

And that ugly mothafuckin' red-haired clown can go hide.

NOW. THIS. IS. A. BURGER.

Burgers never looked better

I need to fly to Chili's. Like desperately.

Just let the man have his burger, would ya?

The Retail Therapy

2006-01-22T15:32:00.000+08:00

They say retail therapy is the best therapy. I'm sure feeling it first hand. I didn't realise I bought that much till I unpacked last night.

5 days of shopping and the load I brought home;

2 working shirts.
4 polo tees.
2 loose tees.
1 pair of ball pants.
1 pair of khakis.
1 pair of sneaker.
1 pair of working shoe.
1 bottle of cologne.

I feel so much like a woman.

But I'm so gonna have a heart attack when my credit card bill comes.

The Acceleration Before Take-Off

2006-01-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

I'll be leaving for KL in 10 hours.

But 48 hours ago has been seriously packed. I had to clear off all my back-load before I take off. If rushing my work is not enough, The Squeaker had to call for a class last night. I rushed to it unprepared right after work.

Class ended at 9.30 and I went back to the office to settle some more of my work. Not realising that I made an appointment with Bernice and Alastair for coffee at 10.30. She called at 10.45 asking of my whereabout and that was when it hit me. I thought the appointment's on Friday. So, I rushed to Bing!.

I only got home around 12.30. Showered and headed straight to bed. Well, almost.

But I couldn't fall asleep. No matter how hard I tried. Bloody hell. Work starts to play around in my mind. I just could not stop myself from thinking. I think I'm going mental. The last time I checked was 3.40.

And so, I woke up at 6.45, pissed stoned. Did the usual routine and headed for the office. Rushed through more work, skipped lunch. And when I was in my most caught up moment, The Boss just came out of his room and asked me to take his car for a wash. There's no way I could say no. So I thought I might as well grab a bite while waiting.

Done with the car wash, back to scrutinising more numbers. Finally got it done at 7.30.

Dinner. Shower. Started packing.

And I'm just done with it.

By the way I construct my sentences, its pretty clear I'm stoned. Very stoned.

But... ITS THE HOLIDAYS!!

E.T.D, 10Hrs.

The Next Stop

2006-01-10T22:03:00.001+08:00

1st week of 2006 just flashed by.

And I've yet to even get used to writing '2006'. I dated a cheque I wrote to settle my credit card bill "9th January 2005".

I better adapt fast before 2006 ends.

There's been so much festivities, holidays and happenings going on that I've yet to fully digest the fact that it is now 2006.

The fuzzly warm Christmas to the hyped countdown of a Newer Year.

But all these festivities and holidays mean more backloads to handle. And whats worse is that I've yet to even clear the mess I left during my study leave.

But anyway.

Next stop, KL.

I'll be violating my resolution, which is still set at 1280x1024.

The Newer Year

2006-01-03T14:16:00.000+08:00

2005 left, in comes 2006.

3 days into the year, things are starting to heat up. Real fast. Schedules are starting to fill up themselves without much effort from me.

I would have to say this is the best New Year's I've had so far. Well, until I woke up in the morning.

Beer and whisky don't go together.

Maybe I'll furnish the details later.

Meanwhile,

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

The Reflecsolution

2005-12-31T15:43:00.000+08:00

8 hours before the year ends.

And I just got home from work. So its pretty obvious then that I skipped class. I'm not spending my last hours of 2005 with a mentally-challenged idiot.

Since everyone's doing their reflection and resolution, I might as well just do mine.

Not in the particular order, I present,

The ~~Shits~~ Significant Events That Happened In 2005:

1) My monitor burnt out. On the 1st day of Chinese New Year.
2) Whored myself at work for the whole year.
3) Ran into a couple of very eccentric women who wants a piece of me. Scary.
4) Started my own portfolio of investments.
5) More whoring at work.
6) Flunked my tax paper a mark away. Forty-fucking-nine.
7) Ate and ate and ate. Seminars with 4 meals, luncheons, wedding dinners. But I'm still the same size.
8) Inducted into the network of accountants in town. Now I can rip their portfolios off them.
9) Offered a placement in KL.
10) Got myself a 17-inch TFT LCD monitor.
11) Got myself a speeding ticket.
12) ~~Broke up~~ Sold off my royal tin can.

Well, this is as long as the list gets. I think.

Now, The Resolution For 2006.

1) Swear less.
2) Save 30%-40% of income for future utilisation.
3) Drive more courteously.
4) Whore myself more.
5) Pass my core papers this coming sitting. Thats if I make it through the previous round.
6) Restructure the current business approach in the company.
7) Spend less.
8) Take more calculated risks.
9) Spend more cautiously. But it does not apply when I get to KL this January.
10) Refurbish my room.
11) Save more.

Fuck. This is getting boring. Ultimately the resolution is, to make more money.

I don't just say I want to meet Uncle Scrooge and rip him off for nothing.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

The Option Which Isn't Quite One

2005-12-30T11:33:00.000+08:00

To go or not to go, that is the question?

If I go, I'd just be one miserable ass who spends his New Years Eve with another sad cunt.

And you would tell me that this IS a wise decision and what matters more is my future.

If I don't go, I'd be missing out on the stuff that sad cunt's going to teach.

But you would tell me that I can go to class and still celebrate New Years. I would tell you that I'd be too tired then after overloading myself from 1.30pm to 10.30pm. But then again, its just an excuse not to go.

But I would tell you that this IS a loose-loose situation. So I'm partying instead.

I think.

The Other Christmas Present

2005-12-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought I've opened all my presents, a new one popped in.

I got a courier note requiring me to pick up my gift. And it says, "From: Speed Trap".

Oww... how fucking thoughtful of them.

I got a fucking summon. For speeding. Four lane 'highway' and the limit is 70km/h. How fucking ridiculous. And I don't see any speed limit at accident-prone-high-death-count roads in this sad town.

Just great. Just fucking great.

The Chrismukkah That Was Never Better

2005-12-25T17:53:00.000+08:00

Why Chrismukkah?
The World celebrates Christmas. The Jews celebrate Hanukkah.
We now have Chrismukkah.
-An idea derived by The O.C.

It's Christmas!! Merry Christmas!!

I'm experiencing that warm fuzzly feeling. Its a once-in-a-year kind of feeling. The type you dig into your closet to find.

I'd have to say this has got to be the best Christmas thus far in my 22 years of life. Never actually celebrated Christmas when I was a kid.

No Christmas deco in town. No Christmas tree. Ultimately, no presents to open, except for one year.

That was when I believed that ~~Beer-Bellied-Fat-Ass~~ Santa Claus exists. I was 7.

Mom bought me a red stocking and asked me to hang it by the ~~stove~~ bed.

Mom: Boy, remember to hang it up by your bed, okay?
Me: Okay. But mummy, how is Santa going to climb in? We don't have a chimney.
Mom: He can climb in through the ventilator.
Me: But our ventilator is so small. Santa is SO fat.
Mom: You see dear, Santa can make himself fat or thin whenever he wants. He is Santa.
Me: Okay.

I went to bed that night full of hope. Next morning, I got a Garfield watch. And I went boasting to my aunts and friends that I got a present from Santa Claus. Of course my aunts just laugh and shove me aside. A few friends who also believed that Santa existed shared my joy, but deep down, they hated me that very instant. Because they did not get any.

That was 15 years ago. If Santa decided to drop in any time, he's so gonna get it from me. I'm going to smack him in the head and ask him what bloody took him so long.

This Christmas was great. Great food. Great presents. Great deco. Great company.

I couldn't say more. It just feels so... so... Christmassy.

Maybe the only thing missing is a mistletoe. One that I can bring around and get a kiss under it from the ladies.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!! Have a Merry Jingly One!!!

The Anger Management

2005-12-23T11:30:00.000+08:00

On 'tis eve of Christmas eve, my joyful yuletide spirit just had to be ruffled.

Some bitch just had to screw up my work. My work which I'm 70% through with. Now I have to start from scratch.

And if you think that's about it, THAT IS NOT ABOUT IT.

I got a mindful from the Boss. I basically got blamed for some other bitch's mistake. I had to spend an hour trying to explain to him what the situation was. But at the end of it, I still have to swallow it down. The blame, excuse you. And the deadline for the assignment still remains. Which means either I stay back for OT or I become Superman.

And if you think that's about it, THAT IS STILL NOT ABOUT IT.

I dropped into my lousy red -staircased -a -la -Chinese -cemetery -shack ~~School~~ ~~College~~ Institution for my ~~hard~~core paper timetable and guess what I found out.

I GOT CLASS ON 29TH, 30TH, 31ST, 1ST & 2ND.

WHO THE FUCK HAS CLASS ON NEW YEAR'S WEEKEND?

The lecturer either has erectile dysfunction, or he's a eunuch. I mean, you GOT to celebrate New Year's with a bang. Its New Year's for god's sake, you low -life -twisted -philosophy -banana -eating -reject.

Marcus Ong, you are one sad motherfucker, period. Don't drag us along.

I need not say more. I need to breathe instead. I need to control my frustration.

I need to think more about Christmas.

1 Day to Christmas.

The Pre-Christmas Crunch Time

2005-12-22T17:25:00.000+08:00

I just love Christmas shopping. But like any other year, I'm the last to complete my spree.

Was all over town with my cousin and Ma to contribute more to the ailing economy of Kuching City. And of course, not forgetting to bring cheers to 'em kids. My only spoilt sister and my ever-annoying rug-ratting nephews and nieces. (Damn I feel old.)

After digging into the shopping bags (yes, plastic bags.), I found these.

28" Patrick The Dog, RM91.90 inclusive of box and ribbon. - For my ~~bratty~~ sweet lil sister.
5 sets of Steadler Stationery sets, RM62.50. - For 'em ~~rats~~ nephews and nieces, Avril, Bryan, Charlene, Joel and Naomi. (I know, I suck for an uncle)
Camel Polo Tee, RM89.90. - For Pops (This one came in a very nice bag from 101 Avenue).

Yes, I know. What about Ma?

I shall be ~~dragging~~ bringing along my sister in an hour to grab something for my loving mother. I hope I can find something nice, 'cos at this very moment, I've yet to have any idea.

Note to self: Start Christmas shopping EARLIER next year.

2 days to Christmas

The Perfect Experience That Almost Was

2005-12-19T19:20:00.000+08:00

I almost thought that my Saturday was gonna suck.

Imagine this.

Getting home at 1 in the morning after a drinking session. No beer. Waking up at 6.30 in the morning with a bloody headache. Dragged my sad, lonely ass to work feeling dry like a ~~pussy~~ match-stick. Tons of back-load. Deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines.

Then the phone rang.

sp3nce: Hello?
Bernard: Hey Spencer. How've you been?
sp3nce: Urm, good, apart from not getting enough sleep.
Bernard: I'll try to wake you up. Wanna check out the 6 Series?
sp3nce: If you're gonna buy me one, I would. Hehe, kidding.
Bernard: Drop by the showroom later, would ya?
sp3nce: Yea, sure.

And so, I ~~dragged~~ skipped my ass to Auto-Bavaria with Pop and Ma. Looked around the 645, drooling ~~in my pants~~.

Bernard: Wanna take the rides for a spin?
sp3nce: I'll take the 6.
Bernard: The 6 is only for show.
sp3nce: I'll TAKE the 6.
Bernard: We're not allowed to test the 6?
sp3nce: Puh-reeeeesseee?
Bernard: No can't do.
sp3nce: I just want to try the 645 okay...
Bernard: NO.
sp3nce: *sniff* So what can I try?
Bernard: All the cars out there, from the 116 to the 745Li.
sp3nce: *still looking at the 645*
Bernard: NO!!
sp3nce: I'll take the 120, 325, 525 and the X3.
Bernard: ~~Now that's a good boy.~~ Sure.

So I started with the 120i, took it around for a spin. Comfortable but seriously overpriced. Just as I was about to turn back into the showroom,

Bernard: Boy are you a delicate driver?
sp3nce: And what do you mean by delicate?? I AM NOT DELICATE. I AM A MAN.
Bernard: Haha, I mean you're a good driver. Gentle on the throttle and turns.
sp3nce: You wouldn't want me to rev this thing up do you?
Bernard: Well, from my experience, the KL folks really test it to the limit.
sp3nce: So you're saying I can rev this thing up?
Bernard: Yea.
sp3nce: Are you sure? *eyebrow raised*
Bernard: Yea.
sp3nce: Oh, I see.... okay.
Pop: Oi.

Next, the 325i. Come the jam and hoardes of imbeciles thinking that they own the road. I think my blood pressure kinda shot up pretty drastically at that point. Bernard was giggling.

525i. V8 with 333bhp. Luxurious monster. The jam pretty much cleared. Right after I cleared the entrance, I bloody floored the accelerator. 5000rpm and still increasing and I was already at 100km/h. Max speed I had, 130km/h. Overall, its one hell of a stable car. Could feel the rubber tight on the tarmac. The only downside is that its a little bumpy, due to the lower profile tyres and larger rims.

Finally, the X3 3.0i. This is the car that I seriously rev up without mercy. This is the one that I floor the gas each and every single chance I had, even for a distance of 50m. This is the one that I took the corners hard. This is the one that I took the step-tronic to the limit. This is the one with the beasty roar of a 6-straight. But I'm not too impressed on the handling. A slight slip on the rear end if you take fast gentle-bends. The steering wheel tends to be a tad too sensitive on high speeds, which can be a little worrying.

Either that, or I suck at driving.

The IQ

2005-12-14T17:25:00.000+08:00

You have a sexual IQ of 122

When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends.

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

I AM?

The Retard

2005-12-13T17:57:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing I learn as a person, it has got to be being courteous when you're ~~leeching~~ asking favours from someone else.

I had a complete opposite experience when it comes to my retarded cousin-in-law. And it is seriously pissing me off.

He wants me to get a quotation for a computer. I got him one.

He waited for 2 months before getting back to me. I waited ~~happily~~ for 2 months for him to get back to me.

He asked me what took me so long, with a tone. I asked him what took him so long, nicely.

He wants another quotation because the old one has expired. I got him another one.

He asked me to get him a new and original one. I was like, "Define original."

He wants to arrange a certain unique payment method. I made the arrangement.

He wants me to type him a letter, a black & white for the arrangement. I said I'm not typing any letter, with my middle finger up.

He calls me at 4.30pm and wants his computer hooked up by this evening. I said, "FUCK YOU!"

Here's the drill down.

First of all, when I agreed to help, you should be thankful.
You took ages to decide, and now you're blaming me?
And with that tone, you expect to get away with it?
I DID talk to him nicely.
Of course its new, you moron. Its a bloody clone, you fuckin' idiot!
About the letter, you did not ask. You instructed.
Who are you to instruct? And why can't you write it yourself?
Is it 'cos your Engrish shuck?
And no, I did not show him the middle finger in his face. I was on the phone.
And NO, I did not say 'FUCK YOU!' to him either.

But its pretty obvious I said it after I put down the phone.

One Ton Lighter

2005-12-08T00:25:00.000+08:00

2 down, none to go.

Well, for the time being.

So I just finished my last paper. The feeling didn't quite sink in until when I downed my first pint of beer.

The yuletide joys of Christmas, the countdown to another year, and most certainly, the trip down to KL. I know there isn't much to it, but its nice to know that there are some plans to be executed along the way.

And the fact that I'd be back in the office later in the morning is just simply relieving.

No more rotting 9 to 9 in the library. No more day-dreaming.

Ah... the post-exam cheers. Let me go wake the whole neighbourhood up.

FREEEEEEDOOOOM!!!! For now, sadly.

Anesthetized

2005-12-03T20:09:00.000+08:00

You know you're in deep shit when your first paper is on Tuesday and you still don't feel the urgency.

You know you're in deeper shit when your first paper is on Tuesday and you're totally not ready, and yet you still don't feel the slightest sense of urgency.

You know you're in the deepest shit when you're first paper is on Tuesday and you're totally not ready, and the passing rate for both of your papers is a all-time low of 39%, and yet you don't feel ANY sense of urgency.

Another word would be numb. Or better yet, screwed.

One Breath Short

2005-12-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

I think I just forgot to breathe today, which rendered me lifeless for 14 hours.

I need my weekly dose of beer. Like seriously.

On another account, I saw this notice on the entrance of a shop selling lamps. I would have snapped a shot of it if I had a camera. Or a phone with camera. (Santa, if you're reading, you know what to do.)

"If locked, please waiting. Or call 016-8XXXXXX"

Do you understanding?

Wish My List

2005-11-26T22:13:00.000+08:00

I was in Watson's grabbing a couple of toiletries when I realised that they had "Jingle Bell Rock" playing. And boy was I feeling that yuletide cheer.

And since I never got what I actually wanted for Christmas, I thought I might drop in a line for the Man-In-Red. This was how its gonna go down.

Dear ~~Fat Fart In Red~~ Santa,

Its a month to Christmas and I think you and your ~~donkeys~~ elves should be gearing up already. You must be kinda surprised to hear from me, since I never wrote to you before. So this year, I'm going to ~~cut you some slack~~ hand in my wish early to avoid you having drag your ~~big ass around~~ time at the very last minute and ~~screw up~~ unable to grant my wish.

As you've already noticed, I've been a really good boy this year. I've done my chores, cleaned my room, did my homework, met my deadlines, drove courteously and so forth and bla bla bla. ~~I was gonna suck up to you more, but I thought I'll spare your balls as I'm sure all those whiny kids in the world would have made you very sore.~~ So lets get right down to business.

Here's my humble wish-list for the year 2005, in no particular order.

1. Dubs for my fofo. 19-inch to be precise. Either one.

2. Clarion VRX756VD Touch Screen LCD DVD Deck.

3. Nokia N90

4. Acqua Di Gio for Men by Giorgio Armani

5. Adidas Superstar 35th Anniversary No.29 Etched White (Size- US 8 1/2)

6. Graham Swordfish Steel Right

7. Toshiba Stasia 32" LCD TV

I know by now you must be thinking 'This kid has either got some nerves to be extremely materialistic or just utterly mad to ask for such expensive stuffs.'

Well, for your information, ~~old fart~~ Santa, if all these stuffs is within my own purchasing power, I wouldn't have to ~~leech~~ wish it off you now, would I?

Okay, I know I said I'll spare you the suck up, but since everyone's doing it and they got their stuff year in year out, I'm gonna give it a shot.

So this is the part where I'm gonna say that you got a hell of a cool shade of dye for your beard and hair. And I can't seem to get those hypocrites saying you being a fat ass.

So, I guess this is it for the time being. But if there's more, I'd fill you in in due time. Don't you worry about that.

I thank you in advance for ALL the stuff that you're going to get me.

Yours truly,
Spence.

p/s: If you happen to decide to grant me my dubs, do let me know in advance. I need to get 2 pairs of stocking big enough for it. And for the LCD TV, do be careful. Its pretty fragile, so I heard. And since this is gonna be your first visit, I have to ask. How ~~big is your ass~~ do you measure? I need the specification to construct the chimney. I don't want you putting a scratch on any of my stuff ~~you fat clumsy fuck~~.

The Goodbye

2005-11-23T21:26:00.000+08:00

Finally.

The paperwork is done. The transfer is complete.

The Royal Tin Can is no longer in the show-yard. He's now in the hands of another. I didn't get to meet the new guy, but I sure hope that he treats him well.

The Royal Tin Can shall remain a memory. A sweet one.

And to The Royal Tin Can, you served me well and I hope to see you around.

The Ex

2005-11-22T20:06:00.000+08:00

I took you into my life.
7th day of October, 2003 was a day to remember.
You were my first.
My very first.

You brought me places.
Work. Classes. Meetings.
Ball. Movies.
Everywhere.
You were there with me, all the time.

But I never had enough.
Never fully appreciate your presence.

I called you names. Beat-up-ride. Royal tin-can.
You stayed with me.
I revved you so high just to boost my ego.
You stayed with me.
I drifted you off corners, fuckin up your alignment.
You stayed with me.
I even rammed you into a tree.
But still, you stayed with me.

Now that you're gone, I'm starting to realise how much you meant to me.

So I got a call from my Toyota's sales representative.

My Royal Tin Can has just found a new owner. Or more like the other way round. But I'd like to think that its my ex-ride that found him, or her.

I'll have to drop in to the showroom tomorrow to settle some paperwork.

And say my last goodbye.

Repeatitus Complexitus

2005-11-21T21:07:00.000+08:00

"What part of "NO" didn't you understand?"

What is it with parents interfering with issues? I got this call from a certain lady's mom. Twice.

How freaky is that?

What annoys me is that she was going on and on about the same thing. The ~~fuckin'~~ freakin' ol' woman was repeating the same shit, like the chorus in a chinese pop song.

And you guessed it. She WAS speaking in mandarin.

And I don't understand jack mandarin. Not the words she was using. Too deep.

The only version of mandarin I know quite well are moans. Its universal.

And I had to repeat my ~~moans~~ point, over and over again, TOO. In mandarin.

Agonizing.

Not that I want to be disrespectful, I'm starting to think that the woman probably got a malfunctioned tape recorder which the surgeon happen to misplace when she got her vocal chords looked into. Or a mp3 recorder.

Please, leave me alone. Please.

I just want to drink my beer, okay?

De-railed

2005-11-13T20:36:00.000+08:00

Something in me tells me that I'm gonna be in for some big time deep shit if this goes on like this.

Or a hell lot of disappointment. Either way, all the same.

A week into my leave, and I can safely say that I've not gotten any closer to the word "Progress".

I need something to get me going. But I don't know that something.

There's this emptiness that is tugging at me, like constantly. Twenty-four-seven.

Things may be better off if I'm working. Being occupied. Revision is just different. There's no flow to it, well, to me that is. Its just downright different.

I seriously need to straighten out my life. Like this instant. Probably being off-routine is just not me. I feel so, incomplete. You get the drift. I'm just a corporate gigolo.

Hence, I shall head back to the office. First thing tomorrow. Get stuck in the jam, the rush for deadlines, the meetings and all the shits that follows.

I'm just gonna say this once. You might not hear me say it again, ever.

I miss my job. (Highlight where necessary)

Of Inches & Miles.

2005-11-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing I learn from what I hear, see and experience, it got to be the fact that long distance relationships do not work.

I know by now, if anyone even read these shits, all those realists who still strongly hold onto the feasibility of distant relationships, would be trying to stone me to death.

But seriously, I've heard, saw and experienced too much. None worked out. As far as I can remember, not even a single one. Only time tells the story.

So, I happened to chat up this girl while I was sadly downing my beer by the bar just now, and she too, tells of a distant too far. You see, her guy, cheated on her. And what used to be 6 years of intimacy, gone.

I have a strong feeling that was her brandy coke talking. True or false, you go figure.

Excuse me while I close my eyes and enjoy the sensational feeling of my room spinning.

Chill Pill

2005-11-09T19:37:00.000+08:00

Just when I start reading my notes, stuffs just have to ride along.

Got called back to the office to settle a few issues. Thanks to the Inland Revenue. Those blood sucking imbeciles.

I need to breathe. Like seriously.

Hold up while I go down a couple of beers by the bar. Alone.

Discharged

2005-11-08T20:03:00.000+08:00

"One would never, ever, be the same once one is altered from its original state"

So is my fofo. I would never look at it the same way again. Plastic surgery sure did its 'thang. Beyond my wildest imagination. So, different.

My fofo, My love.

Okay, so its just wishful hoping. Let the man dream a lil' would ya? A man's gotta have some dream at one point of his life or another.

A little sidetrack, so here's the real fact. I got my ride back. Sooner than I expected.

Paint-job was slightly above average. Could have been better. Shades differ a little, but nothing I can help. Better than the scar the cunt left on my fofo's ass.

I feel so mobile again. So free.

Hitch a ride, anyone? Preferably a chic. Or chics.

Of Empty Porches & Shits That Follows...

2005-11-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

The idea of being immobile is not sitting very well with me right now.

Not when I have important stuffs to attend to and bills which I have forgotten all about to settle.

Not especially when I made a promise to a friend without considering the fact that I am without wheels, and cancelling it out at the very last minute.

And sitting ducks at home doing jack.

All that, and Mother Nature finally know some love. Fine weather. No game.

Kinda teaches us not to take things for granted, no? Especially my fofo.

4 Wheels, A Man & A F*cker

2005-11-07T14:07:00.000+08:00

Why is it that everytime I'm on my leave, my ride has to be admitted into a medical centre? The last time, it has to be lavaged due to overdose of oxy-sewage-ocycline when The ~~Pussy~~ Cat tried to drown it.

This time, it's being shipped out to L.A for a plastic surgery. My ride is getting ~~pimped~~ fixed by ~~West Coast Customs~~ UMW, or more like getting a ~~blowjob~~ paint-job.

So that leaves me immobile for the next two days.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the other note, what is it with assholes that they love to eye on you from head to toe?

I had exactly that when I brought my ride down to the service centre this morning. I made an appointment and when I was called for, the service assistant gave me a full-blown-head-to-toe check-out as if I was some hot chic with a skirt so little fabric all men would un-controllably gush.

What's up with that? No, not the gushing part you nincumpoop. F*cker with double standard, thats what. Just because I'm some 22 year old doesn't mean I can't afford to be here. Just because I was only in a polo and jeans?

So what is that you need for me to be treated as an all-eligible man?

All dressed in corporate attire; power-suit, power-tie, power~~ful~~ ~~cock~~ stare?
A gold card? Platinum?

You want the suits and the tie, I'd give you that. Platinum... Okay, so I've yet to qualify for one, but how would you like a gold?

I bet I'll get a different treatment if I was in my working attire. Wait, their Customer Support Department just mailed me a Customer Feedback Evaluation. The f*cker is so gonna get it.

With that all out, I shall try to hitch a ride to get my lunch.

I'm starting to miss my fofo.

Off-Tune

2005-11-05T19:05:00.000+08:00

It all started when I had one drink too many on Wednesday night (or should I say Thursday morning) that caused me to wake up earlier than expected and should be. Since then, my biological clock has gone cuckoo.

After chilling out and supper with the rest of the crew, getting home at half past 1 and not feeling tired at all doesn't quite equate me. Not even after hanging in from of my com for almost 2 hours. Boredom was the only thing killing me. What is sadder is when you get up after half an hour of tossing and turning to watch a couple of clips with that weird feeling running in your head.

Dreamland only found me when dawn was almost here. Estimated time was 4.30.

Waking up 5 hours later with a stoned mind ain't fun I tell you. I tried testing my tolerance level by running down to the library to get some revision done. I failed within an hour.

Fast food for lunch didn't get me faster on my feet either. I'm still stoned.

But I got to say that all these non-routine-ness is kinda fun. Fun in a weird way, well for me, that is. Probably due to the fact that I've been working for 3 years and everyday is almost the exact repertoire of the other.

I feel like a 10-years-old-forgotten-piano. Or probably I'm just confused. Maybe.

House Arrest

2005-11-04T13:20:00.000+08:00

I'm currently under house arrest. Minus the observation and electronic monitoring.

I have been confined in this crib of mine since I last got home early yesterday morning, which means I have yet to even step into my porch since. Thats like more than 24 hours ago. And that is the saddest thing a completely sane person (though I'm starting to doubt my sanity) could do for a holiday.

Talk 'bout the extreme ends in just two nights. Drinking hard and shouting by the bar on one night and stuck in my own crib on a movie marathon on the other. Waking up early when you seriously needed some shut-eye and waking up after noon when you thought you could use some early breakfast. This is so not me.

Meanwhile, I shall consult a psychologist to regain confidence in my quest for sanity. I shall not be in denial. I need help.

Incompletely Complete, Again.

2005-11-03T12:55:00.000+08:00

Waking up 9.30 in the morning when you slept at 4.30 with your head spinning doesn't quite meet the criteria of a holiday. Yet I have no idea why the hell I got up that early. But what I do know is that sitting by the bar with beer is fun. An experience I never quite have.

Waking up to an empty house is sad. Waking up to an empty fridge is giving me indigestion.

Empty stomach and all, thats when you sit down with your orange juice. and your mind starts wandering off. That is when reality hits you hard in your gut.

I realised that I have almost everything but almost nothing.

The Past, The Present & The...

2005-11-01T18:29:00.000+08:00

One day you say you love me. Another day you tell me how much you miss me. The next you tell me that you need space. You want to feel young again. And that you want to enjoy the freedom that you never really did 'cos you were with me since you were 17.

And so I said fine. I let you go. We'll just be best of friends. And so we did.

Never thought you'd ever bring up the issue of "us" anymore. Until now. Almost a year later.

So what am I actually? Just someone you can come to and leave whenever you please? Whenever you feel lonely and all miserable?

I really don't see any chances of this working out. Not at all. Not anymore. Please, let us just be friends... and stop being hopeful. The past has gone, the present is happening, but I don't foresee any future.

Deuce deuce

2005-10-25T20:59:00.000+08:00

22 years just came by,
22 years and you wonder why,
22 years flew by close,
22 years tho' not smellin' like a rose,
22 years tho' is just a number,
22 years but it ain't no blunder,
22 years full of venture,
22 years in my picture,
22 years with some pain,
22 years worth of gain,
22 years brought me tears,
22 years showed me cheers,
22 years you gotta be bold,
22 years experience hold some gold,
22 years chics in the row,
22 years I need some flow,
22 years you gon' get dazed,
22 years I'ma hit it in your face.

Thus it ends with brewed malt... for now

2005-10-17T22:36:00.000+08:00

Talk about a long winded week. Recap.

Monday, 10th
Woke up half blurry as usual, still tasting the aftermath from the road-side burger which I whored for. Pissed. Squeezed a fair amount of toothpaste into my mouth and brushed my stained teeth by the window, voyuering chics jogging in the park opposite my house, jiggling their assets. Showered. Shaved. Dressed up. Kissed my bolster goodbye and head to the office.

Sorted some working papers out and left for a half-day seminar. More like a food-marathon. Morning coffee with finger food were served. Cakes and shit. 2 hours later, its a coffee break. More food. This time, fried noodles, mini-pizzas, cheese cakes and loads more. 2 hours later. Lunch.

-Now thats only a half-day seminar. People in this part of the world live to eat. We eat on every occasion. We dine in weddings. We dine when our kids turn a full month. We dine when our kids turn 1. We eat when they turn 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... 30, 40, 50, 65. We eat at their funerals too. During festivities, we eat all day long.-

Got back to the office, bloated. Tried to lift my 3 tonne arm. Failed.

Tuesday, 11th
Repeated the same shitty morning repertoire.

Sorted more paperwork. Left for a full day seminar. Another feasting galore.
Menu: 1 morning coffee
2 coffee breaks
1 sit-down lunch

Another bloated day.

Wednesday, 12th
Again, the same repertoire.

This time, not seminar, but a meeting with a client.
The agenda: Proposal of the most efficient business structure for client's restructuring.
And boy was I bombarded with loads of question. This is what happens when your boss is out of town and you got to handle a meeting by yourself.

Thursday, 13th
Repertoire, repertoire, and a hot chic jogging in the park.

3pm - Deadline for client's annual report. And I'm still compiling the balance sheet items. I'm so screwed.

Friday, 14th
There wasn't any hot chic jogging in the park, much to my despair. The one thing that brightens my day, not there.

No deadline, no seminars. But a pre-graduation cocktail party. Smiles, small talks.

The food, to die for. Roast lamb, beef *something something*, salmon platter, fettuccini cabonara etc wine etc wine etc.

Went home, bloated.

Saturday, 15th
Up earlier than usual. There wasn't any time to spot the hot chic in the park. Last minute polishing of shoes. Pissed. Showered. Shaved. Suit up. Time for my 4-button suit to play its part on me.

Got to Hilton just in time. Graduation ceremony. No, I'm not the one graduating. I'm the slave for the day. Quite a well paid one though. Again, refreshment is served.

A friend was whining all the way through the function, as she was "converted" as one of the VVIPs, "forced to make small talks with old geezers", as how she puts it.

Ended up in the cinema with her and another friend, for Into The Blue. Paul Walker for the lady, Jessica Alba for the 2 men.

Iced vanilla latte to end the day.

Sunday, 16th
For the first time in the week, I get my well deserved sleep. But was then woken up by some a**hole who screams through the phone. Wrong number. What the f*ck.

Spent the day doing nothing. Apart from eating.

Evening comes, a wedding reception. More food. Cold plate, sharks' fin, duck stew, pork stew with bun, baked salt prawns, brocolli with shrooms and ended with apple pie. Not to mention the free flow of beer. I think I downed half a jug before even the first dish comes up. Few bottoms up with the groom and by the end of the evening, I think I forgot my own name for a moment.

Which goes to say... Beer... Good....

Corporate Gigolo

2005-10-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

There was that sound in my head this morning. I was on my bed. I tried to ignore it. Closed my eyes. My hands could not hold still. The urge. I tried to fall back to sleep.

It was calling me. I tried to fight it off. Be strong. Resist temptation. "Come...." it calls.

I finally succumbed to the devil in me. I followed my hand.

I don't usually do this on Sundays. I do not flip my planner on Sundays. Its something I practise in order to make me feel that my world does not revolve around that blue pvc-skinned book. I try not to make my life feel so routine.

And I just freakin' realised that my whole week ahead is packed. And I mean PACKED. Not a single day next week, or this week, for the matter, is going to be a normal 8 to 5 in the office. I have 3 seminars, a meeting, formal function and a dinner. Not to mention the deadlines I have to meet this week. I'm so not going to like this.

I shall buy myself a treat ahead of the insane week I'm about to have. Excuse me while I whore myself to get myself a road-side burger.

To Suit Or Not To Suit, That Is Not The Question.

2005-10-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

I thought I wouldn't need a new suit anymore when I decided not to attend the hypocritical graduation. Perhaps I was meant to contribute to the fashion industry this time. Fate. But I ain't got no fate giving me no money to suit up.

First thing on the agenda on this morning's meeting : I need you guys to get your suits ready.

And the function I am to attend is next Saturday. One bloody week.

Plan A : Made a call to my tailor right after my meeting. He'll have to check with his schedule if he's able to cater for my short-noticed request.

Plan B : For contingency's sake, dropped into Tun Jugah to hunt for my suit after lunch. G2000 to be precise. There was only one decent-not-too-old-age-inducing suit left. New stocks would only arrive on the 15th. How very convenient. The sales representative talked his way into making me try out. Try I did. He even threw in the tie. The suit fitted almost perfect.

However, it didn't quite fit in in my budget department. It costs a bloody 599 bucks, inclusive of slacks. Was tempted, but thank God I was alone. It may have been different if there was a woman with me. A diagnosed deficiency known as impulse-shopping.

The only reason why the G2000 suit did not digest well with me was due to the fact that it would have been a waste. Come on, this is Kuching we're talkin' about. Even if you apply anti-perspirant on every single inch of your body, you'd be getting cock-stares from the public. "Poser" would be the word used.

So I decided to pop in my tailor and he was able to squeeze my request into his already tight deadlines. Had my measurements done, my 4-button suit is now in process and ready for collection by this Thursday.

And its costs only 360. But it had better fit.

Leeches R' Us

2005-10-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

Graduation Invitation Confirmation Deadline: 9.00 p.m 7th October 2005

Its now 9.42 p.m and I've not confirmed. It means only ONE thing. I ain't goin'.

Why you ask? Weren't you pretty much excited bout donning the robe?

'Cos they charge a freakin' huge amount for a simple ceremony. It's not only the guests I invite that has to pay, I have to pay the same for my sorry a**. Haven't I paid the f***in school my fees? After owing me a graduation for almost 2 years, they're still digging my pockets? Now they're coming after my a** for some more? I say "KISS MY A**".

You ask how much? They're charging me 45 filthy bucks for the tickets, which is inclusive of a high tea. The robe and hood rental would cost me another 138 bucks, of which 100 is a refundable deposit. That is 83 freakin bucks for receiving an empty toilet-paper-roll-makeshift scroll. And the tea, it has to be one hell of a tea, 'cos its supposed to make you high. I'm not complaining on the high-inducing tea part though. And there's the graduation potrait package with a minimal of 50 dough. And for some of you rich poser c*nts out there, 133 bucks may be pubic hair for you, but it means cupping the left tits of a hottie in a club for me. Why left, I personally don't know. I'll just leave you to figure that out.

And I ain't even donning a complete graduation attire. It don't mean sh*t if its without the hood.

And I guess I won't be too complete without either my wide-screen tv or my set of contemporary-modern furniture.

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Before I forget, I have to give credit where credit and attribute is due. The picture of the beer on the sandy beach was un-informedly obtained from LaineyLashes. I would like to "uphold" her for her creativity. I hope she doesn't mind and re-considers sueing me for piracy.

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I just sent a friend down to the airport for her vacation to smog-gets-in-your-eyes-and-nose KL. Kuching's very own Mini-KLIA is still in progress and I have to yet to see any resemblance with the oversized KLIA.

I hate airports if it ain't me who's leaving. I just have something going on with the air around it. I have this urge to just buy a ticket right there and then. The air must have been chanted, or worst, cursed.

No wonder Malaysia Airlines is doing so well. We Asians love red. I was wearing a red T. The red LED on my dashboard of my ride blinks in red, begging me to put my belts on. The executives in MAS love the red to the extend that they posted their performance figures in Ferrari Red.

I say, WELL DONE.

Or better yet, KISS MY A** YOU FREAKIN' LEECHES.

Incompletely Complete

2005-10-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

And just as I thought I've been forgotten, the past just caught up with me.

The most unexpected phone call rang into my chep-a** cordless phone in my crib. It was from a certain institution with one of the most profoundly known educational politic in this highly developed town (or some would like it to be referred to as a city). And I DO stress on the phrase "highly developed".

It was an invitation. No, it wasn't an invitation to an opening of a R'n'B club. No, it wasn't an invitation to collect my flight ticket to the states for me to watch Lakers and Sixers play. Nor, was it even an invitation to witness a melanine-pigment-deficient man dig a hole in the ground to build the tallest building in Sarawak. Right... Malaysia Boleh. More like the "The White-A**-Boy Can-NOT" (sing it in the Carrier tagline theme). White-boy who wants a share of everything. Punk a**.

Okay, it was just an invitation to a graduation ceremony. It is time for me to finally accept that empty scrolled-up piece of paper. For a higher-diploma equivalent course I undertook and completed 2 years ago. Talk about lag. Another feat of the spirit of Malaysia Boleh. Of course we can. With all the dim-wits for the society's representatives, of course we can.

So, its time for me to don the robe. Minus the square hat, sadly.

Wait, that bloody institution did not organize the event. The governing body's local office did. Leeches. There'd better be lucky draws. Or at least "A" lucky draw. Draw me a plasma tv and I'd give them the best testimonial. Okay, I wouldn't ask too much. I'd just settle for a 21" wide-screen tv... Or a set of contemporary-modern furniture would do too...

Get me those and I shall feel relatively complete for a while...

2005-10-02T18:29:00.000+08:00

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